Random Thoughts

As we wait for the last of the "paperwork pregnancy" to come to an end, my mind has started to wonder. Like, I wonder how old Desi will be? We asked for a child between 5 and 8 years old so Jenna could be a Mei Mei, Jie Jie or a virtual TWIN:-) I have always thought (and even told others) that we would have twins one day. Maybe they will come to me in a non-traditional way:-) LOL I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Another one of my "wonderings".....will Desi have a special need and if so, what will it be? We gave GWCA a list of special needs that we are open to. Although it was quite an extensive list, the special needs are very minor or correctable conditions. We had to do this since we own our own business and we have individual insurance policies instead of being a part of a larger group. This puts us at risk of being cancelled with any sort of major diagnosis:-( Sad but true. We are open to children with more moderate special needs but unfortunately the insurance company isn't. It's just a part of life that we have to accept right now and go on. I know that God has known for some time who Desi is...He was just waiting on US!!!

What will her personality be like? Will she be another Devan, Jordan and Jenna Type A++++ or will God see fit to give me a quiet child this time? LOL Will she be accepting of our family right away or will she be reserved in her feelings for us until we prove ourselves to her? Will she be in a "good orphanage" or will she come from a place like Jenna's orphanage that was very poor:-(

The BIG one....What/who will she look like??? With Jenna's adoption, it was LOVE at first sight. From the moment I opened up the email with her picture, I knew she was OUR daughter:-) Will we feel the same about Desi? Will we KNOW without a doubt that she's our daughter?

Oh the things you think about when you're in this process and waiting with too much time on your hands. I am trying so hard to trust God in all of this. HE knows my daughter and HE's the one that has chosen US to be her family. I pray my faith does not waiver. I know that God guided the hand of the Chinese worker to Jenna's file and HE will do the same with Desi's!!!

I want to try to enjoy every second of this adoption and the anticipation. In a few months our lives will be completely transformed.....it doesn't hurt to appreciate what you have now. I can only imagine waking up with 3 (sometimes 4 when Devan's home) girls running around the house, trying to get ready for school/church. I'm sure it will be complete chaos:-) It makes me smile just thinking about it because I tend to get more done in the chaos than when I have little or nothing to do. How strange is that??? LOL

Hosea 14:3, "in you the fatherless find compassion." I hope this is what people see in me when they look at my life.